lesser of two evils: polite-but-silently-judging-you or annoying-and-in-your-face-but-keepin’-it-real

15 04 2010

how do you like that title?  it’s a gem, i know.  this particular blog isn’t to say that there are only two kinds of people – it’s a spectrum and these are the opposite ends of it.  of course, there are people who aren’t at all judge-y or annoying and in your face (but still manage to keep it real).  i’m just saying, if you had to choose between these two, which would YOU prefer?

the polite-but-silently-judging-you type can be nice because these kinds of peeps keep up appearances.  they are congenial and they are polite to you – heck, they may even compliment you – but lurking underneath that saccharin exterior are judgmental monsters who come out to play once you’ve left the table.  they say things behind people’s backs or whisper things under their breath, but they’d never dare say that shit to your face because they aren’t into rocking the boat.  you’ll probably like this person because they’re agreeable and nice.  i’ve definitely liked more than my share of them.  the problem with them is that you can be friends with these kinds of people for long periods of time and not even know that this is who they are.  they’re just so polite and seemingly harmless!*

annoying-and-in-your-face-but-keepin’-it-real people are good because you immediately know what you’re in for, like it or not.  you may hate what they have to say about you or life or religion or whatever, but hey, the bottom line is you know what they really think.  they’ll rock the boat, or even better, they’ll flip the boat over if that’s what it takes to express their thoughts and feelings.  you’ll dislike them for it but at least you know that feeling of dislike is directed toward a genuine person and you’re probably adult enough to be okay with disagreement.  the downside to this is that you may not like the person much and thus you won’t have any desire to continue contact.

i choose annoying-and-in-your-face-but-keepin’-it-real.  polite-but-silently-judging-you won’t help when it comes to encouraging others to grow as a human beings.  they don’t challenge my thoughts or take me out of my comfort zone, which i think is important to becoming a well-rounded person.  at the same time, they shrink my emotional intelligence, because every time i let them get away with their shit, they take a grain-sized piece of dignity away.  those grains add up!  and hey, at least annoying-and-in-your-face-but-keepin’-it-real is giving me a choice; ican take it or leave it.   polite-but-silently-judging-you doesn’t give you a choice until you discover the truth, and by then, you already feel like you’ve been had.

i also recommend continuing contact with people who you disagree with – as uncomfortable as it can be, i think it really forces you to think about your beliefs, as well as others’ beliefs, in new ways.  if the person is bold enough to call you out on your alleged bullshit, all the more wonderful because you’ll think about yourself in a new light (whether what they say is true or not).  i’ve had this happen on more than one occasion and though i was super annoyed at the time, in hindsight, i’m glad they said something or i’d be walking around acting a fool.

*please trust that there’s no judgment coming from me on this one, because i’ve definitely played this card before (usually when it’s political or i’m just feeling a little insecure) – it’s just not who i am on the regular.  there have also been many times where i’ve failed to call people on their bullshit (like serious-type bullshit), so i know that i’m not that evolved, either.

also, sorry for the serious post.  finals got me in a surrrrious mood.

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lesser of two evils: one-armed hugs or pats on the back

8 04 2010

there’s something about a pat on the back that irks me.  maybe it’s because when you get pats on the back, it’s either because you did something deserving praise or you’re going through something that requires a “there, there now, life will be okay” sort of gesture.  methinks there are better ways to express praise or sympathy.

now about that one-armed hug.  really?  you can’t put two arms around a person and just squeeze?  if you have your hands full, okay i get it, but if you are empty-handed, go big or go home.  well, not at a job interview (ahem), but in social settings where you are going to one-arm hug someone, why not just go that extra mile and get both of your upper appendages involved?  just sayin’.

so if i had to pick…dun dun dun: i’d rather have a one-armed hug.  it’s better than no hug at all and the pat on the back is way too condescending.  now, a one-armed hug with a simultaneous pat on the back – well, that’s a different story altogether.





lesser of two evils

1 04 2010

new weekly blog feature:  making a choice between the lesser of two evils.  i’d like you to vote, too, actually.  this could be, like, an interactive thing between me and my three readers.

today’s choices:  taylor swift v. miley cyrus

yes, i know this pairing is somewhat played out and kinda unoriginal, but i was inspired by professor robinson’s use of taylor swift in his constitutional law examples as well as by laura’s story on how miley cyrus got the name “miley” (allegedly, she was so smiley as a baby that they started calling her “miley”).  her real name is destiny hope cyrus.  really?  destiny hope?  if something is your destiny, can you really have hope?  because if you are destined for something, all the hope in the world does you no good because you can’t change the future.  and that’s what hope is about, right?  the future.

i digress.

back to the topic at hand.  i have no shame in admitting that i actually like the song “the climb” by miley.  i listen to it when law school’s got me feeling low and i need that extra little boost of inspirational crap.  but miley also kinda sounds like a man when she talks and i don’t like her singing voice all that much.

then there’s taylor.  as much as i don’t want to know her songs, i sing along to her on KIIS FM at the top of my lungs, as if the lyrics and melody were innate – instilled in me along with my fight or flight instincts.  oddly, i also like that none of her songs really make a lot of sense.  the mindlessness of her work is pure genius!  and i don’t say that with one bit of sarcasm – i promise.  i think it’s nice to have a song with a nice tune and not too much substance.  like that ke$ha song about swagger and mick jagger.

anyway, i’ll make a choice:  i pick taylor swift.  miley is too toothy for me.  and her music sucks a little bit.