lesser of two evils: polite-but-silently-judging-you or annoying-and-in-your-face-but-keepin’-it-real

15 04 2010

how do you like that title?  it’s a gem, i know.  this particular blog isn’t to say that there are only two kinds of people – it’s a spectrum and these are the opposite ends of it.  of course, there are people who aren’t at all judge-y or annoying and in your face (but still manage to keep it real).  i’m just saying, if you had to choose between these two, which would YOU prefer?

the polite-but-silently-judging-you type can be nice because these kinds of peeps keep up appearances.  they are congenial and they are polite to you – heck, they may even compliment you – but lurking underneath that saccharin exterior are judgmental monsters who come out to play once you’ve left the table.  they say things behind people’s backs or whisper things under their breath, but they’d never dare say that shit to your face because they aren’t into rocking the boat.  you’ll probably like this person because they’re agreeable and nice.  i’ve definitely liked more than my share of them.  the problem with them is that you can be friends with these kinds of people for long periods of time and not even know that this is who they are.  they’re just so polite and seemingly harmless!*

annoying-and-in-your-face-but-keepin’-it-real people are good because you immediately know what you’re in for, like it or not.  you may hate what they have to say about you or life or religion or whatever, but hey, the bottom line is you know what they really think.  they’ll rock the boat, or even better, they’ll flip the boat over if that’s what it takes to express their thoughts and feelings.  you’ll dislike them for it but at least you know that feeling of dislike is directed toward a genuine person and you’re probably adult enough to be okay with disagreement.  the downside to this is that you may not like the person much and thus you won’t have any desire to continue contact.

i choose annoying-and-in-your-face-but-keepin’-it-real.  polite-but-silently-judging-you won’t help when it comes to encouraging others to grow as a human beings.  they don’t challenge my thoughts or take me out of my comfort zone, which i think is important to becoming a well-rounded person.  at the same time, they shrink my emotional intelligence, because every time i let them get away with their shit, they take a grain-sized piece of dignity away.  those grains add up!  and hey, at least annoying-and-in-your-face-but-keepin’-it-real is giving me a choice; ican take it or leave it.   polite-but-silently-judging-you doesn’t give you a choice until you discover the truth, and by then, you already feel like you’ve been had.

i also recommend continuing contact with people who you disagree with – as uncomfortable as it can be, i think it really forces you to think about your beliefs, as well as others’ beliefs, in new ways.  if the person is bold enough to call you out on your alleged bullshit, all the more wonderful because you’ll think about yourself in a new light (whether what they say is true or not).  i’ve had this happen on more than one occasion and though i was super annoyed at the time, in hindsight, i’m glad they said something or i’d be walking around acting a fool.

*please trust that there’s no judgment coming from me on this one, because i’ve definitely played this card before (usually when it’s political or i’m just feeling a little insecure) – it’s just not who i am on the regular.  there have also been many times where i’ve failed to call people on their bullshit (like serious-type bullshit), so i know that i’m not that evolved, either.

also, sorry for the serious post.  finals got me in a surrrrious mood.




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