11 things

11 12 2010

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

  1. Negativity – the quarters method.  we’ll put a quarter in a jar every time we’re negative and see how fast things add up.  that kinda stuff always gets things in perspective for me
  2. Worry – this is a tough one because it is always a challenge to remember that worrying about things isn’t helping anyone move forward.  if anything, it traps you in the moment.  it’ll just take practice
  3. Pretentiousness – in no way do I believe that I know it all, but sometimes, I act like I do and that needs to stop.  I have SOME authority over SOME things, but not all authority over ALL things.  Also, being a snob is not cute.
  4. Judgment (on my end and from others) – it’s all about putting down the magnifying glass and picking up the mirror.  when we judge, it’s not about the people we judge; it’s about ourselves and how we feel about ourselves.
  5. Doubt – in myself, in others.  More ‘benefit of the doubt’ is in order here.
  6. Unnecessary material possessions – tons of clothes or books or purses or anything material ties me down too tightly and makes me a slave to things rather than experiences and I’m over it.
  7. More DEBT – with my gargantuan student loan hovering over my credit report, I don’t need to add more fuel to the fire.  I guess this goes with #6
  8. Sadness – there’s nothing to be sad about.  I’m alive, loved, and for the most part, healthy.  I live near the ocean, I have running water, clean drinking water, clothes on my back, and food to eat.  Being sad sounds plain ungrateful.
  9. Selfishness – me me me me me me me.  That’s how I grew up as an only child.  It wasn’t a terrible thing, but it isn’t conducive to building relationships with others.
  10. Alcohol – wow, I can see why lawyers become alcoholics.  Law school just makes you want to kill your brain cells.  It’s unproductive to drink and it’s terrible for your health if you do it too much, so I’m going to give up alcohol.  Seriously.
  11. Dry skin (haha yes, really) – moisturizing is the only way.

now, if i eliminate all of these things, life will be a little more pleasant.  more bright.  more full of energy, light, and hope.  just the way i like it.


Reverb 10

10 12 2010

I haven’t blogged on here in awhile, eh?  I highly doubt anyone reads this blog anymore (they’ve switched to this one).  Anyway, I’m participating in Reverb 10.  I’ll do some short blurbs on the days I’ve missed and longer posts for those that I finally catch up with.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

My answer:  Humbling.  My first year of law school brought me to my knees.  I realized I couldn’t be everything to everyone (and I’m still dealing with that to this day).  Friendships changed, circumstances broke my heart, and I wasn’t on top of the world — but what I had was a lot of love and a whole lotta support.

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

I look at Facebook profiles (embarrassing, but true!).  The voyeurism isn’t helpful to my writing or my well-being.  Social media is such a weird beast.  AND YES, I can eliminate it.  I will only log on to Facebook now to post things about my food blog or socialize with people I love but are far away from.

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

The day I decided to launch my food blog.  I had been waiting and waiting, writing and writing, editing (and, well, editing) until I was blue in the face.  I finally thought, if not now, then when?  I hit publish and never looked back.  So it wasn’t perfect but sometimes getting it done is better than getting it perfect, and this was one of those cases.  It felt like letting go, but not just of concern for the blog — it was letting go of concern about what others thought of me or anything I’ve done or will do.  It was a beautiful moment.

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

By finding beauty in imperfections and tiny details — finding something to love about the minutiae in my day, like crumbs from cake that you might  press with your fingers to gather up every last bit because it was just THAT good.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I let go of a dream that might not have been mine to begin with and I let it go because it wasn’t making me happy.  For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out why I had been so resistant to a certain path in my life — I realize now it was because it wasn’t something I wanted with all of my heart.  I’m the kind of person who is either in or out, and I was clearly out.  Sorry to be so cryptic!

— I will get to the others leading up to December 10 in my next post.

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

The wisest decision I’ve made this year was the decision to take my life back from the forces that have been steering it for some time now.  I stopped living my life in the way people expect me to.  We live in a culture of wants and materialism, so it is difficult to see past the beautiful things and really think about what you want to get out of this life.  I started thinking about how I’ve spent my time and my money over the past five years, and aside from my education, traveling, and cooking gear, I don’t have much to show for it.  Fashion fades, but experiences are forever.

This coming year, I’m investing in experiences.  To be specific, I will be:

  • taking a ballet class (because I’ve always wanted to)
  • taking an improv class at the local comedy club
  • getting a library card
  • taking a trapeze class at the pier
  • scheduling regular mother/daughter days
  • throwing a dinner party
  • taking a photography class
  • designing my own line of aprons with my crafty best friend
  • running a 10k race
  • making a business plan

…and that’s just SOME of what I’ve got in store.  I’m going to buy two pairs of jeans and some t-shirts at the end of 2010 and that’s it for shopping for one whole year (though I will make exceptions for a few weddings, since I just gave most of my party dresses to Goodwill — they no longer fit me).

Blog, Interrupted

16 06 2010

The joy of summer vacation had me in a vice grip for quite some time.  I’m gonna start updating again very soon.  Adjusting to having all this free time to watch videos on hulu or go to happy hours at my favorite places has been tough. (Yeah, I know what you’re thinking – sure, it’s been REAL hard…haha)

What have I been doing?  I’ve been watching entire seasons of Being Erica (a cute Canadian show), eating lots of chocolate, drinking lots of wine and beer, listening to new music and podcasts, napping, and resting.  Time to get ready for all the things planned this summer!  More to come later…

Summer is HERE!

7 05 2010

Here are some of my goals for summer:

  • Make lots of really yummy food and post everything on my blog
  • Pack lunches and go to the beach at every chance I get
  • Re-connect with those I missed so dearly over 1L year
  • Read the stack of books my mom-in-law gave me (she has excellent taste in reading material)
  • See my mom and my dog more than once a month
  • Re-vamp the living space a little bit
  • Laugh a lot

What are your summer plans?

the eve of the end

5 05 2010

law school has changed my life in a million different ways – some good, some bad.  i may never look at an elevator the same way because i’ve written about crashing elevators in eleventy different ways.    i’ve gained some and i’ve lost some, but the losses that are the hardest to bear are the least tangible.  i used to talk to my best friend at least once a week, and during fall semester, i didn’t even know she moved from one city to another.  i’ve missed important moments that i’ll never get back, like wedding showers and birthday celebrations that just so happened to be scheduled in the teen weeks of my semesters.  today, i mourn the lost memories.

an important thing to remember is that as i move forward in life, other people are moving forward, too.  sometimes i forget that my friends aren’t frozen in time just waiting for me to get out of law school (how self-centered, i know).  they’re busy working, planning weddings, having babies, studying, and just being.  lately, i’ve just been lingering over my favorite memories with my bestest friends – sitting in bestie x’s apartment with bestie y, just reading gossip magazines, watching bad reality television and stuffing our faces with tuna helper.  those were the days.  but, life goes on.   and we change.

thems is the breaks.

here i am, on the eve of the end of my 1L year.  today, along with mourning the lost moments, i celebrate the person i’ve become because of law school.  this place has squeezed every single tear out of me, so i don’t cry much anymore.  it made me question my core values and brought me back full circle – i’m more sure of who i am now than i ever was before (and oh, did i think i was sure before this!).  law school pushed and pulled – my brain swelled and stretched in response.  my appreciation  for my husband and for my family grew exponentially because they rallied around me. it wasn’t the funnest year ever, but it was maybe one of the most rewarding.

what’s going on here?

29 04 2010

as soon as i finished my contracts final (#2 out of 4), the lazy me showed up and hasn’t left.  i haven’t run much since i don’t know when.  i have been eating like a horse and i’ve been eating things that are not good for me, like mochi, chocolate, burgers, fried chicken and other crap.  i’ve also be averse to studying.  go away, lazy me.  go away.  the end is near…let’s finish strong.

stream of consciousness

25 04 2010

it’s been awhile since i blogged, eh?  law school finals will do that to a person.  sadly, i have nothing all that interesting to report.  just, you know, studying my butt off and locking myself in our bedroom while yelling at nick to be quiet.  of course, there’s also been a lot of double shots of espresso and cream at odd hours.  i’ve also made several trips to the store for ice cream and mochi.  i had trouble finding those little 5-hour energy bottles at the grocery store.  do they only sell those at gas stations and convenience stores?  if so, that’s a BAD sign.  last week, i had cupcakes for five out of seven days.  just trying to make sure that i look like a walrus in my swimsuit this summer.  i moved our foyer table (to be used in our future foyer) into our bedroom and made a little workspace in the corner.  SO WHAT if i can’t open half of my closet because a dining room chair/foyer desk chair is in the way?  i don’t care because i haven’t changed out of my pajamas since friday and nick just did laundry so i’ll hang those clothes over that dining chair and hope i don’t have to wear anything more formal than yoga pants for the next fourteen days.